Inevitable Truth
by NonMetallicMetal
Summary: Arguing had become their best principle for communicating. They didn't expect that this one would end any differently than any they had had before. But they were wrong, and in the end, forced to accept the inevitable truth.


**Disclaimer**: Well, it is fan fiction for a reason. (i.e. I'm just a fan, not a creator.)

I haven't updated in quite a long time, so I hope you guys, especially those that have put me in their alerts/favorites, will enjoy this.

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* * * INEVITABLE TRUTH * * *

Arguing had become their best principle for communicating. It wasn't a static type of discussion though. Sometimes, they would be deadly serious when speaking. Other times, it was a bit intense. They would also fight with punches or with silence; and sometimes it seemed like they just talked. But this time, it happened to be the all-inclusive package.

Everything began just as they were about to capture the bounty of the day. They had finally been able to round up the criminal, but at the critical point, Faye shot and missed…more than once. She blamed it on the guy's ability to dodge and the wet floor, but Spike made a smart comment on how she couldn't even shoot someone who was even a few feet away from her.

Her eyes widened. Then, he realized too late that he had opened up a wound that after three years had seemingly vanished. Faye turned completely serious and, for the remaining of the day said nothing to him. By the time nighttime came, he decided to retract his slip, believing that otherwise she would never again try and return to the normalcy they had finally achieved.

"It's just…" she began as if they were speaking about something irrelevant. "Why is it that you always have to keep bringing that up?"

"It slipped," Spike answered.

Then they began to converse civilly. But it didn't take long for things to get heated and then they were yelling. Deciding that things were going to remain unresolved between the two, Spike left her shouting in the living room and began to walk to his own. For a few seconds, he believed that that would be the end of it.

Faye watched as he strode away, noticing the smallest difference in the movement of his shoulders as he stepped away. She bit her lip and cursed under her breath. She turned in the opposite direction, but she couldn't ignore the fact that Spike never seemed to take her seriously. For once, she just wanted to have him not run away from whatever it was they had to say. She hesitated, but decided to persist.

"We're done talking about this," Spike said as soon as he heard her footsteps nearby.

"We're not," Faye said firmly. "I just want you to stop doing that."

Spike tried to close the door before Faye could enter his room, but she managed to slither through. "Doing what?" he asked frustrated.

"Confusing me, that's what!"

"I'm not. You're confusing yourself."

"You say that, but you always do little things that bug me!"

"Like what?"

"Like yesterday, you took that box down to storage for me."

"I was heading that way anyway."

"I don't care what you were doing! Spike, the thing is. Whether you want to admit it or not, you already know these feelings I have…And I know that you don't have them for me…But the thing is, these little things make me believe otherwise."

"That's stupid. It was just a box," Spike said trying to calm the tone of his voice. He turned his back towards her as he took off his coat.

She grabbed him by the shoulder and twisted him, forcing him to face her and causing his coat to slip off of his grasp and into the floor. "You always do this. Don't pretend you don't understand…Don't pretend that we can forget about then."

Why now, of all times, had she finally decided to talk about this? He gripped her hand away from his shoulder and shoved it away.

"Then don't pretend you don't understand me," Spike said somewhat bitterly.

Faye's eyes grew in anger and, before either realized it, her hand instinctively rose away from her hips and landed with full force on the left side of his face. On impact, Spike's eyes closed. He felt his skin throbbing and let the burn fade a little before opening his eyes again.

Before him, Faye was standing still, staring at him with a somber face. "She's not here anymore. And I know that even you have come to terms with that by now."

Faye crossed her arms, hiding the hand that had struck him, but Spike grasped her wrist and twisted the hand closer to him. She couldn't read what his eyes were saying to her, so she tried to escape. She tried to get his grip to loosen, but it seemed, the more she tried, the harder it was for her to move. She began walking back, but encountered the wall of his room too soon.

Spike couldn't release her. He thought that maybe if he let her wrist go, he'd want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her like a ragdoll. Finally understanding that these were his thoughts, Faye tried to regain distance again. Unfortunately, with her wrist restrained, she pushed him back too clumsily. And in the end, Spike, being one with an embedded balancing system, shifted forward trying to prevent himself from falling back. In doing so, however, his left foot tangled on his coat and he collided against Faye. He gripped her shoulders trying to restore their bodies to equilibrium, but the lack of space prevented him from successfully completing the motion.

Instead, he pushed Faye's body too forcefully against the wall with his own. When Faye's shoulders impacted, her back involuntarily curved and she let out a little moaning sound. By the time Spike was able to stop the movement, her hips were close to his body and her lips were lingering by his upper jaw. He could even feel and hear her breaking breath almost as if it were his own. Faye couldn't remember when was the last time that she had been so close, or if she had ever gotten so close. All she could think then was that Spike smelled really nice; she nearly wanted to dig her face on his neck just to get closer.

It took a few seconds for their proximity to register. Faye turned towards Spike to evaluate their distance. Even though the shift was ever so small, the side of her lips touched his skin right where his earlobe connected to his jaw. The motion was so fluid and slow that it didn't cause him to jolt away from surprise. Faye let her lips rest there for a second, but noticing her innate pleasure, sunk her body back and retreated her lips away from his skin.

"Sorry," she said very indecisively.

Spike didn't know exactly what it was she was apologizing for. He began to slowly pull away. But for Spike, the skin where her lips had been, regardless of how minimal, still felt a lingering touch. The more he tried to force himself away from her, the more he realized every detail of her that kept him from moving. Like her lips, why had he never been so curious about them?

As for Faye, she couldn't look into his eyes. She stared at his jaw line, intently inspecting the area that was ever so slightly red. It was as if she was confirming that her lips had touched him. She tried to pretend that her lipstick mark wasn't really there, but the longer she looked at it, the more defined it became. And then, Faye found herself moving closer to Spike again.

She gently placed her fingertips on the red smear and rubbed it away, trying as much as she could to forget that she had, more or less, kissed him. As she did this, Spike released her shoulders and let his arms hang loosely on his sides. Feeling her thumb stroke his face, he thought that the motion was much too gentle for someone who had just slapped that same area. But Faye didn't think so. She finally admitted to herself that she had wanted to kiss him to begin and that that was why she had touched her lips on his skin. When the smear was cleared, Faye stroked his face one more time thinking, I've kissed you here.

As she slid her hand away, she selfishly let her thumb trace his jaw line. And then, just because she felt the urge to, she let her index finger hover over his lips as she moved her hand away from his face. Spike followed her hand with his gaze. He kept his breathing calm but it was shallow. Even he had to confess that being touched liked that was nice. There was something about her fingertips; he never thought they could touch anyone so sincerely.

Just before her fingers left his skin, he grasped her moving wrist, his thumb centered on her palm. Although she did not flinch, Spike realized that he was holding her too tightly. He slowly loosened his grip, but he did not completely release her hand.

"There's nothing there anymore," Faye told him, speaking quietly since they were so close. "I got it all…"

"Are you sure?" He asked. He wondered whether or not Faye would be able to tell that he wanted her not to stop.

"Yeah," she answered. She was trying very hard to keep her emotions settled, trying not to think that if she moved a few inches forward she could kiss his lips.

They both thought about how neither moved, but at the same time, they didn't consider their distance a hindrance. Neither knew how long it had been since they had collided with the wall. And to be honest, at the time, it just didn't matter much.

"Check again," Spike said slowly releasing her hand, making sure to follow the length of her forearm with his fingers.

Faye cupped his face with both hands and turned him a little. She was trying very hard not to touch him as she had done earlier. "There's nothing," she said.

It was incredible how focused her eyes could be. The way Faye was looking at him now, Spike didn't think that there was anyone else alive but themselves. He couldn't look away. It was as if her eyes had locked him down. He stared at her dazed features and wondered whether he was also wearing the same expression.

Faye pulled her hands away from him. Her heart was beating too fast, and touching him made it worse. She was torn, half of her wanted to run away and the other wanted to stay like they were a little longer. As Faye found herself slowly calming down, Spike found himself wanting to pick up her hands to place them on his face again. It was okay for him, he thought, it was fine to want to be touched with such gentleness.

Faye's skin looked very smooth. He didn't even think about what he was doing, but he mimicked one of her previous motions and stroke her skin with his thumb. It really is like porcelain, he thought. Faye's determination broke. She shuffled her feet forward and placed her hands behind his neck. She locked her fingers, as if that would keep him from stepping away. Spike didn't respond to her movement, but merely kept stroking her face.

His hand slid away from her face and travelled to the nape of her neck. He barely let his fingers touch her skin there. He thought that it was fine to want to keep touching her, but he didn't know if that was enough reason to. Faye whispered his name. He shifted his eyes away from her neck and followed her lips as they traced every sound of his name. Spike was looking so intently, that he even noticed the movement of her tongue.

Faye felt her skin tingling. She thought that her legs would buckle if his hand lingered so closely, teasing her with the false hope of knowing what it would be like to be touched by his hands. She repeated his name again, believing that if he called out to him, eventually he would have to notice her. Being this close, why did he not do anything?

As she thought this, Spike stopped his lingering hand at the base of her neck. He couldn't remember how he'd managed to keep himself under control before. But now, his urges were shouting him to continue touching her. It felt as if a pressure kept building up inside his head, as if he needed to continue in order to prevent his skull from exploding. The pressure made his temples hurt so badly. If I don't do this, he thought, this is never going away.

Faye saw him approaching her but was afraid that moving closer to him would make him retreat. It felt like forever waiting to feel his breath. She parted her lips expectantly. Spike hesitated once more before letting his control slip and allowing their lips meet. He couldn't keep the contact and he slightly separated their lips so that for a while it was as if they were kissing each other through the air.

It was very awkward.

Spike thought something like that would never make him feel anything, but he was wrong. His indecisiveness faded, and before he could lean towards her again, Faye had already pulled him forward. If you're going to kiss me, she thought, do it as if I matter to you. She moved her hands under his arms and pulled him closer through his shoulders. In response, Spike maintained his hand on her neck and pulled her hips closer to him with the other.

Even if this feels so good, Spike thought, this is a mistake. But he couldn't stop himself from wanting to be the only thing that she could think of at the moment. The way Faye was kissing him, it felt just as if that was the truth. Spike kissed her back with just as much intensity, feeling the pressure in his head disappear only when he did so.

Soon, just having their lips meeting wasn't enough to keep the pressure away. And now, it wasn't just in his head, it was his entire body feeling this force. It covered him so immensely, his skin was burning from the exertion. Faye noticed his urgency immediately. She cupped his face again and brought their mouths as close together as she could. Suddenly, she felt very guilty. I'm just provoking him, she believed, otherwise, he wouldn't do this.

Spike felt her lips hesitantly draw back, but he didn't let her leave him. He knew his reasoning was erroneous, but he blamed her for making him feel all these things he couldn't control. He wanted to hold her responsible. He thought that his actions would be too aggressive, but the way Faye had touched him first seemed to be the only means of touching each other now. So, he softly pressed her against the wall, making sure that the gap between them was non-existent. Faye continued feeling guilty, but that sensation was being eaten away by pleasure. She told herself, this is fine because it's what I've always wanted. Realizing this, she responded to him with a renewed desire.

In a few minutes, they became perfectly acquainted with their mouths. When they separated to catch their breaths, both of their lips were completely red and Faye's lipstick had seemingly disappeared. She looked up at him and ran her thumb over his lips making sure that it wasn't just her lipstick that made them look that way. After she moved her hand away, Spike unconsciously licked his lips. His tongue could still taste her mouth, but he wondered what the rest of her tasted like.

Faye's eyes shifted to the spot on his jaw that she had kissed. Now that she had kissed his lips, she wanted to really press her lips against that spot. She did so unashamedly, letting her lips roam his neck freely. Spike shrunk a little thinking, if you do that, I don't know what'll do. It had been forever since someone treated him like that and it was making him senseless. All he knew now was that he liked it. And he wanted more.

He relaxed his shoulders and Faye kissed the skin over his Adam's apple before rolling her caress to his lips again. Spike only let her kiss his lips for a second because he slid away from her mouth to the nape of her neck. As he kissed her, Faye buried her face into him and he could feel her warm breath penetrate the fabric of his shirt. I should stop, he thought even as his lips continued to move. But the pressure kept growing and he couldn't find another way to keep his body from shaking.

Faye's legs became weak. She thought she would fall, but with Spike's body so close, there was no space for her to do so. With that out of her mind, she let the ecstasy building in her spine spread to every recess of her body. Her hands wrapped over his back and she could feel the muscles tense and relax with her touch. She clutched his shirt, trying to force her hands closer to him, but soon realized that the cotton fabric prevented her hands from touching his skin.

Fumbling with his shirt made the collar tighten over Spike's neck and it made it difficult for him to breathe. He separated his hand away from her hips to unsnap two buttons before quickly slithering his arm between the wall and her back. Faye saw his newly exposed skin and momentarily forgot about his back. She nuzzled her face on his chest and let her lips map out his collarbones.

Spike felt his hands trembling. His fingers tangled in her hair and he lifted her lips away from his neck and unto his; doing this seemed to bring stability back unto his extremities. Faye's hands fell away from his shoulders and unto his waist. As she continued to fumble with his shirt, she managed to untuck it from the back. She did not notice this until one of her fingers suddenly felt the warmth of his skin.

It made his entire skin crawl. He had to stop kissing her for a second, waiting for the sensation to carry over his body, but his lips didn't directly leave hers. Faye felt the goose bumps spread over his skin. Then, she moved her hands under his shirt and tried to smooth them out by gently moving her hands in circular motions over his back. He smirked, and self-conscious of his satisfaction, quickly buried his face on her hair to prevent her from seeing him like this.

Feeling this, suddenly he felt the need to speak. "I don't…" he began, but the smell of her hair made him forget what else he was going to tell her.

Faye felt a knot in her throat. The way he had spoken just then, it felt like he was going to tell her…no, he was definitely going to tell her that, even now, he didn't love her. She let the knot dissipate and whispered, "I know."

He thought that with that everything would be over and hated himself for having said anything. But Faye didn't release him. She just repeated, letting her breathing caress his chest, "I know."

"…then…"

"Because I know…that's why this is fine…"

"Is it?"

"Yes," she said bringing their lips together. "I know. And this is fine."

As Faye spoke, more than convincing Spike, she thought that she was trying to convince herself. She debated the idea very quickly and came to the conclusion that she really wanted to be with him…regardless of whether it was only something physical or not. She thought, maybe if we go through with this, maybe then I'll be able to get over him. And she really hoped for that, she didn't think that she could live much longer feeling everything for him and knowing that it was one-sided. Spike didn't believe what she was telling him; so, he didn't kiss her back. He heard Faye grunt in annoyance and then flinched back after she unexpectedly bit his bottom lip somewhat aggressively.

"What are you?" he said before they're eyes met. He stopped speaking and felt a bead of blood spreading on his lips.

"Didn't I tell you already!" She responded insistently before softening up her voice. "I know…" Having no will left to go against her, Spike decided to believe what she was telling him, afraid that otherwise his entire body would burst. Faye noticed the muscles in his shoulders loosen up again and licked the blood away from his lips. "See, it's fine…"

And it seemed to be that way.

In fact, the more they continued, the more it felt as if it was definitely the only thing to do. They kissed and touched and settled into a rhythm very quickly. Neither knew exactly who it was that started it, but they began to drift away from the wall and closer to the bed. From there, everything else just became irrelevant and they lost themselves in each other.

Spike didn't notice when they had fallen asleep. The only thing that he was aware of was that feeling her hand twitching once on his chest had woken him up. Faye was still sleeping soundly, her body fitting perfectly against his. He shifted his head on the pillow, trying to see her face better. I just…, he thought,…with Faye.

He stared up at the ceiling and tried to fall asleep again. He believed that maybe if he just let this process at the back of his head for a while longer, he would have an idea of what to do next. But he just couldn't fall asleep. Instead, he became overly aware of Faye. He felt every strand of her hair on his arm, every breath that touched his shoulder, every heartbeat that she had.

The only explanation he could find then was that she was so much on his mind because he'd been able to touch every single part of her. And. She'd been able to make his heart beat so badly that he thought it would blow up inside his chest. But then, he noticed that what was really bothering him was not knowing exactly how to refer to what had happened between them. If it had been just sex, he thought, I wouldn't feel like I do right now. But, how can we have made love if I don't feel that way towards her. Spike believed that there must be something erroneous in his thought processes. He thought that there were only two explanations. Either the lack of sex made this one time feel so different or, and he didn't want to even consider this, maybe he was…there was just a possibility, that, he really did feel something more than…well, that he loved Faye, just a little, or much more than that.

Then, he noticed Faye shifting. He tried not to move, but Faye blinked her eyes and stared sleepily onto his face. "Ah," she said lazily. "I fell asleep." She retreated her hand away from his chest and rubbed the sleepiness away from her eyes. She sat up in bed and covered her chest with the blankets of his bed. Spike sat up as well, still feeling that somehow their movements were supposed to match. Since his bed was twin size, they ended up with the same amount of distance as before.

"I just barely woke up too," he said.

"Is that so…"

"Yeah."

"Then," she began before letting her voice trail to nothing. After a few seconds of silence she continued, "I guess I've taken up enough of your time."

Spike stared at her. Taken up enough of his time? Wasn't it that he was the one taking advantage of her situation? As she began to move away from him, he said, "It doesn't matter if you stay here for a while."

Faye glanced at his eyes then down at her hands clutching the blankets. She met his eyes again and said, "You don't have to feel guilty about this. Because I'm not naïve…I knew this would happen."

Spike felt his heart skip a beat. That was it. Guilt. This is what he felt. But it was the guilt of not knowing where he stood with Faye while she had already admitted her feelings for him, not guilt of having touched and kissed her like he had. "I…"

"If you want," she continued with an indifferent tone that was driving Spike crazy, "we can also pretend this didn't happen." She glanced at the floor, "I'll return this to you later." She stepped out of the bed in one fluid motion. She picked up his shirt from the ground and, with her back towards him, slid her arms into the sleeves. She turned around as she glided the last button into place.

Don't be that way, Spike thought, but he couldn't get the words to actually leave him. It was like if they were stuck at the back of his throat. He didn't like this weird feeling that he was getting now. It wasn't guilt. He knew that much. He just felt really frustrated and angry and…disappointed?

Faye picked up her things and tucked them under her left arm. "Good night," she said softly and walked away. Spike reached out for her wrist, but she moved too quickly and he didn't even manage to touch her fingers. Then, he stared at his hand. Why had he done that?

Faye walked out of his room so quietly that Spike didn't know if she had even left. He stood sitting in bed waiting for something to happen. Wanting for something more than that to be the end of it, but finding himself motionless. He really did try to move, but his head began to echo with the little sounds that Faye made and the pressure in his head made his temples sting. He saw Julia's face flash once and then became extremely angry.

He ran his hand over the warmth that Faye had left lingering in his bed. "Idiot," he said while sitting alone in his bed. "I'm such an idiot."

Meanwhile, Faye nearly ran to her room, but decided to run to the upper deck instead; she ran until she reached the furthest edge of the ship. She flung herself against the railing and clutched the pipes. She let her knees fail and sat on the cold metal. It was a very dark night and the moon on Earth was hiding. She hoped that by tomorrow, Jet would return with Ed and she would not have to be alone with Spike again.

She thought that only to momentarily distract herself from the feelings that were overflowing through her. She had been right about something, being with him, it definitely made her realize her true feelings. She really was in love with him. And for her part, that was all there was.

Still, she had noticed something else that she had never considered until tonight. When Spike was with her, whom did he think about? She thought, were you looking at me? Or were you thinking about her? How will I ever know if it's me that you're thinking of? And with that she realized something.

"I can't ever be with you," she whispered with a breaking voice. "Can I?"

She hugged herself and gripped the cloth of Spike's shirt tightly. Faye remembered how he had made her feel and then she felt the tears rolling down her face. She tried to contain herself, but it was useless. The only thing that her mind allowed her to think about was that because Spike's love for Julia had been so great, there was no possible way for her to ever take part of his heart.

She became angered at herself and pinched the skin of her thighs trying to forget the feeling of Spike's hands over her legs. And suddenly, her body was burning again and she remembered that she'd finally been able to kiss his entire back. She didn't know when it first began, but she just loved every aspect of his back. The way his shoulders slouched when he sat carelessly on the yellow couch and how they connected to his neck, the way his muscles felt under her touch, and how his skin crawled with one caress. But above all, she just loved the silhouette it created when he had his back towards her.

Faye couldn't cry anymore because the truth suddenly hit her. I can't keep feeling like this for you, she thought. Faye decided that she couldn't live feeding false hope. She couldn't live pretending that one day he would really look at her. And she found herself surprisingly accepting of this. All I need, she thought to herself, is to keep loving your back. That was all she could do, and all that she had ever been allowed to do to begin. She wiped the remaining of her trailing tears away from her skin and smiled at the empty, black water.

"But I can still love your back, " she whispered to herself. "That much is okay…Isn't it?"

* * * END * * *

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Thanks for reading, if you wanna make my day, why not send a review my way? And if you really like my stories, pass the word!

Other than that, it's been forever since I've watched CB or since I've written fan fiction, so it feels just like if I were a noob at this. -_-'


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